Ryan's Blog

Like Twitter, but longer


Social glue

Idle and simple chit-chat - about the weather, or TV or other inanities - acts as a type of social glue which allows us to tolerate each other. Without it, we'd avoid going anywhere as the awkward silences when we met people would become impossible to deal with. It also acts to keep us apart so we never really get to know each other well enough to really care. We get by with the "how are you?", "Fine" conversation so much that we never go deeper, never push into potentially uncomfortable and revealing areas of conversation.  We never truly engage with people enough to find out what makes them tick, what keeps them up at night, what they aspire to.  And the result is a somewhat lonely existence, we might have lots of "friends" (in the Facebook sense), but we don't really know them, and if we needed help and support they probably wouldn't be there to help. But how do I switch from the former conversation to the latter? How do I break the bonds of the "social glue" and form stronger, closer bonds of friendship?